What if people looked for jobs like they look for dates on dating apps?

Prospect: Expresses interest in working at organization via direct message

Organization: Hi, good morning

Prospect: No response (disappears forever)


Prospect: Hi, you have a really nice building

Organization: Thanks. Would you like to work here?

Prospect: Your building is so gorgeous. Nice front door! I’d like to explore it with my tongue.

Organization: Eyeroll (escorts Prospect out)


Organization: Talk to you on Monday (expects to talk to Prospect on Monday)

Prospect on Monday: No response (disappears forever)


Prospect at 2am via text after having disappeared for 6 months: Whatcha doin?

Organization: What?? It’s 2am!!! What do you want???

Prospect: Can you send me a pict of your assets?

Organization: (blocks Prospect’s number)


Prospect after a great first interview: I’m really excited to work here, this place is the perfect fit for me!

Prospect the next day and forever more: No response (disappears forever)


Prospect: Full disclosure: I’m just interested in your benefits and your assets, I can’t commit to actually working at your establishment. Can I just get the benefits without a commitment?

Organization: How is that a thing???


Prospect: I work somewhere else but my workplace and I have an agreement that I can hang out at side organizations that strike my fancy on some days of the month. Interested?

Organization: What???


Prospect: I’m a lone wolf. I feel trapped when I work for others.

Organization: Then why are you looking for a job?

Prospect: Because some deep part of me craves to work for others. Will you hire me please?

Organization: Can you come in for an interview? (moves a bunch of meetings to meet with you)

Prospect via text an hour before the interview: I feel trapped (disappears forever)


Organization at first interview: Hi, nice to meet you in person.

Prospect: Looks office up and down (acts disappointed)

Boss: Is something wrong?

You: From your posting, I thought your ceilings would be higher (walks out)

Organization: (re-evaluates entire organization and feels terrible about it for weeks, then realizes Prospect was shallow and stupid, the office is gorgeous, the organization is amazing and doesn’t need a loser like Prospect to ruin it, moves on)